| Dear Coach: I have a long-time client with a new manager who is now my primary contact for this account. We are in the middle of negotiating a contract renewal. Fees, time-frame, services are all up for grabs. I'm a pretty good negotiator, but not this time. Since the relationship is new, I'm trying to be respectful and accommodating. However, every time I offer a concession he just seems to get more annoyed. The thing is, he is French, and I can't help wondering if my problem as something to do with that. Am I crazy? Any advice? Coach Says: Nope, you're not crazy! I asked Sami Revah, a pro on this and other cultural subjects, to offer some advice, and here is what Sami had to say: Every culture has unique and different social and business customs, ways of communicating and negotiation styles. Ignorance of these differences can jeopardize even well-meaning relationships. Actions as seemingly innocuous as exposing the bottom of your shoe (in Japan), or touching a person's head (in Thailand) can have disastrous consequences. In your dealings with your French counterpart, you may have inadvertently said or done something that sent the wrong message. For example, if you avoided confrontation or backed down from your positions without a fight because you want to be "nice," he may be losing his respect for you as a negotiator. The French value verbal repartee very highly. If you avoided lively debate (some might call it "arguing"), you may have insulted him by not engaging him! Next time, try engaging in a lively discussion and negotiating hard. Confront the issues. Invite and encourage this client to debate! You may have more success. Thanks, Sami! |